lavender

I miss the long nights of fellowship
The eager early morning greetings

It seems as though I've let time slip away from us...
Have let the demands of others put a wedge between us.

And the gifts you gave me...
I haven't had the time to enjoy...to savor...
to nurture and produce more.

My heart longs to be filled with sweet music...that it may clear
my cluttered mind.
And intertwined in notes my be the love shared between
you and I.

Like the sweet fragrance of lavender oil
poured out of Mary's box...

I pour out my heart...
Saying I Love You...
Praying never to be apart.

What was he doing in the field?

He went out to the field one evening to meditate and as he looked up he saw camels approaching. Genesis 24:63 NIV



לָשׂוּחַ-lasuah basadheh, is the Hebrew word used in this passage in place of meditate. There are several schools of thought among the Jewish scholars as to what lasuah means. Some say it refers to prayer, a pouring out o f the heart as it is referred to in Psalms 102:1. Others say that the root suah in this instance means to 'speak'. Yet others take a more literal approach and suggest this word's reference is to things that grow from the ground, like grass and trees.



So what was Issac doing out in the field? Was he praying or just simply on a nature hike?

There have been many a times where I have enjoyed going out to nature to clear my mind and have found myself in prayer and meditative reflection. It is during those times where God has revealed so much about His character. As I admire the intricacy in which he created the colorful birds, delicate petals, and majestic mountains, I ponder the question, if He's mindful of these is He not the more mindful of me? His child created after His own image? And if He provides rain for the dry land and sunshine for the flower's bloom, will He not provide my every need? Then all of a sudden I'm aware of His presence as I continue to commune with Him amongst His creation!

I believe Isaac, as our first parents Adam and Eve, was doing both out in the field. He was in meditative prayer, speaking to God amongst the grass and trees. It is important to note where Isaac was at this point of his life. He was dealing with the loss of his mother and Abraham had sent his servant in search of a wife for him. So there Isaac was, with all sorts of thoughts going through his head, probably asking God for a special companion he could share his thoughts, ideas, and plans with. Someone he could debrief with, laugh with, and grieve with....Someone who would support, encourage and inspire him and he and turn do the same! And as he looks up...could it be the answer to his prayer? As the story in the bible continues, we see that indeed it's God's answer to his prayer...he meets Rebekah who becomes his beautiful life companion.

So I pose the question, is it possible for a word to mean several things at the same time? He went out to field one evening to "nature"....lets say for the sake of an example the word "nature" in this particular instance means meditative prayer amongst nature. Then we would clearly see exactly what Isaac was doing out in the field. Is it possible lasuah was conveying all three meanings at once...speaking/praying amongst the grass and trees? Maybe....lol!

Whether you think this particular concept might be a little far fetched or not, the point is prayerful meditation with God is one of the most powerful things one can do. This particular verse about meditation jumped out at me because it was therapeutic during my depressive state and going out in nature to clear my head and speak to God is probably one of my most favorite things to do. Oh how He's answered prayer just like he did Isaac's!! If you've never had the opportunity I suggest you try going out one day and experiencing meditating on God on a nature hike! =)

My Notes On Jesus

Time is more precious than money

a kind gesture speaks louder than words.

A gentle touch feeds the lonely.

An encouraging word voids a negative spirit

A sweet song uplifts the depressed

The Word quenches thirst

Prayer is a life line

Faith is healing medicine

Patience reveals all things

Real love has no conditions

Awe-Some Praise

Oh Lord, how I delight in the beauty of your creation!

What detail in the most delicate flower.

What vibrant display of color in the plumage of birds with colors we have yet to name!

Soft rolling hills that fall into the vast valley.

Majestic mountains that seem to cut through the Earth in an attempt to reach the heights of

heaven!

And all around , I hear the song of your creation giving you honor and glory from the energetic

vocals of birds to the mountain's reverent praise.......

How excellent is your name in all the Earth!!

All my cares and worries fade away as I join in praise.

Realizing your are God who is in control, mindful of all your created beings!

Broken Heart

Like a broken vessel full of fragrant oils, a broken heart often emits the sweet perfume God loves to smell....

For it is then He comforts and does His greatest restorative work

He begins to mold and shape you for the task He has prepared

The trials whose weight have crushed your heart-
are used to develop your gifts...

so that they may spread throughout like incense to bless those that you come in contact with

They in turn smell the aroma of God

And as His scent lingers...

they are moved like you were as He begins to pour in healing streams into their broken hearts

Filled up, they continue to share His essence!

Oh to share blessed fellowship with Him

Whose broken heart of love healed the world

Grateful

It's hard to believe that 4 years ago I was battling with depression. For 2 of those years my mind was a battle field. Every morning I would wake up afraid to face the day because physically and mentally I did not feel adequate to handle anything...to take care of 2 boys, take care of my house, chores, etc. The more I tried to keep up with the demands of life, the deeper I sunk.

Looking back now and through my recent experiences...

I am grateful for trials

I am grateful for His Word which is my comfort

I am grateful for His unconditional love...its what keeps you going when human love fails.

I am grateful for the gift of mercy

I am grateful for the gift of grace

I am grateful for forgiveness

I am grateful for answered prayers.....He is so faithful!

I am grateful for knowledge shared

I am grateful for true friendship

I am grateful for open doors

I am grateful for life's experiences

I am grateful for every opportunity presented to me

I am grateful for the ability to choose

I am grateful for family

I am grateful for the gifts He's given me

I am grateful for health

I am grateful for all the people in my life....good or bad.

I am grateful for discernment

I am grateful for His revelations

I am grateful for all I've learned and will continue to learn

I am grateful for every single day

I am grateful for this journey!

Marathon

Let us go over to the other side. Mark 4:35

When I started this blog, I had decided to start on a life changing journey, which is why this blog is entitled as such. One of the major ones being to run a marathon!

San Diego was the marathon of choice and I am overjoyed to say I did it! 26.2 miles. All my training and obstacles I had to hurdle paid off at the end. Though I sit here in pain as I type away, every bit of it is well worth the feeling of accomplishing something that research states only about one tenth of a percent to one percent of the population accomplishes. Of course, I wasn't aware of that until I heard someone say it over a bullhorn on the sidelines of the course. What an inspiring thought along mile 8!

Running through the course, you run into all kinds of people from newbies like me to elite runners; from the young to the 75 year old seasoned runners, who by the way were passing me up and finished way before me!! LOL!! The course being 26.2 miles gives you a lot of time to think as well. So many things came to mind. Thought about how far I'd gotten milage wise in training, when at the beginning 6 miles was a huge feat to now 26.2! At half of the race (13 miles) it was inspiring to see some of the people in my training club. Especially one of the pace leaders, who is in his 70's, running after he had just done the L.A. marathon the week before. I think it was at about mile 17 my body started revolting and the realization that there were still 9 miles to go set in,so I was pleasantly surprised to see friends on the sidelines cheering at mile 20, which in turn gave a boost of energy and lifted the spirits up! So thankful for them!



But it was close to 4.2 miles left, that I started thinking about all the obstacles I had to hurdle to get to this day, this race. Thought about the sacrifices..being a mom and wife...encountered people who with their words or lack of support tried to discourage. At the same time, I thought of those who only spoke words of encouragement and during the week of the race, would send inspiring texts of prayer and how proud they were at what I was about to accomplish.



I correlate all of this with this race that God has asked us all to be in. You see along the way, you realize that as you prepare, that even the people closest to you might not understand why you sacrifice so much for what God has called you to do and say things to discourage you from accomplishing the task He has asked of you. The enemy speaks through others to feed your doubts and insecurities so as to keep you from realizing and experiencing that which God is crucially trying to convey to each and everyone of us!! But God is so good. He will not leave you nor forsake you. He will not call you to a race and not prepare you for it. He sends people in your life to speak words of life and encouragement. He sends people who have gone through similar trials and through the knowledge they've gained, uses them to guide you every step of the way! I kept hearing His voice saying, "I've prepared you for this day and am with you, just as I've shown you time and time again...just as I've promised." At the same time, one of the people on the sidelines was walking up and down telling us that from this point on to the finish, it was your mind that was going to get your through to the other side.



So, I looked over at my coach, running partner, and friend, who is an experienced runner, who graciously decided to run my first marathon with me, and let him know I was ready to kick in and finish this thing!! We finished in 6:01 hrs. and met up with another friend that ran and my husband who were waiting at the end of the race. But as we crossed the finish line, I became overwhelmed with joy and a sense of accomplisment that had I not fought back the tears...those tears would have told the story of my journey to the other side.

Likewise, when we finish this Christian race and get to the other side with Christ, our tears and songs will tell the heavenly hosts the story of our journey and the realization that all we endured was more than worth it.

Revelation 5:11-13 (New International Version)
11Then I looked and heard the voice of many angels, numbering thousands upon thousands, and ten thousand times ten thousand. They encircled the throne and the living creatures and the elders. 12In a loud voice they sang: "Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise!"
13Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, singing: "To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be praise and honor and glory and power, for ever and ever!"

Patiently

To wait patiently on God is probably one of the hardest things to do as humans! We often look for signs and wonders, for a voice to tell us what next. But when we don't get any of this, we tend to desperately search for these signs and the voice to the point where we begin to impose our own signs to fit our own purposes!


The most worthy souls will be tested with the most pressure and the highest heat..but heaven will not desert them...God is always seeking to teach you the way of faith. No amount of persecution will try you as much as experiences in which you are required to wait on God! Yet it is this discipline of faith that will bring you into a Knowledge of God that would otherwise be impossible. Streams in the Desert


Yesterday completed my 32nd year of life...patiently I've been learning to "wait" as has been required! Indeed it has opened another side of God that I've never experienced. It has been through his most silent times that He has shown me great things which have in turn spoken volumes!

Beautiful

Psalm 139:14 (New International Version)

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.


The mold society has made,
The images the media displays.
The riches people acquire,
The sleek and provocative attire.
The look peers and loved ones try to dictate,
with convincing argument's that one will eventually arrive to a more desirable state....

According to God's Word, none of these define,
The beautiful creation that is indisputably divine!
For it is the Most High who with love delicately contrived,
Every inch, hair of this body that thrives.
So I lift my head up high,
And arise from all that tries,
To be an image breaker,
And tell me contrary to my maker.

I love Him because He first loved me...
I love me because He wonderfully and fearfully made me.

Love Series: Unconditional

Imagine if a movie was made about your life and no editing available to erase all the things you'd like to erase? All bad decisions, thoughts, struggles, vices, that some of the closest people to you might know, for the public to see... What would it look like? And what about the things in your life no one else knows about? if they saw your movie would relationships come to an end? Would friendships dissolve? Would you be judged, talked about, and thought less of?

Incase you weren't aware, there is someone who has seen your movie.

And yet doesn't think any less of you...continues to be your friend...wants to guide you...and wants the relationship to grow deeper!!!

Does such a person really exist? Jesus is his name!!!

What matter of human logic is this? It's way beyond human logic. It's called Love...unconditional!

A free gift that few accept, and others reject!!!!

Be Loved...Be Blessed
Psalm 139: 1-18

1 O Lord, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.
2 You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
3 You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
4 You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
5 You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand!
7 I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
8 If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave,[a] you are there.
9 If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
11 I could ask the darkness to hide me
and the light around me to become night—
12 but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
Darkness and light are the same to you.

13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.

17 How precious are your thoughts about me,[b] O God.
They cannot be numbered!
18 I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!

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